What Would I Do?

"I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!"

It's December! Whooo! Bleh. Bear with me folks, I'm a little sick of writing right now, having churned out just over 50,000 words in the last month for NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. So here's another article I wrote a year ago. Normal service will resume shortly.

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What Would I Do?

"Stupid like a fox!"

I’ve read far more self-help material than I’ll ever need and attended countless seminars, all in the aim of gathering every little scrap of knowledge out there. I recently realised that I knew more tricks, tips and techniques than I’d ever need to know and was becoming paralysed by too much information. Obviously my response to this revelation was to go and read more to discover how I could get past this hurdle. Since then, I’ve read even more, experimented with different techniques, consulted with different coaches, mentors and therapists, and also worked with several students to improve their confidence in social situations.



And after it all I began to see that I could distill pretty much every useful piece of knowledge that I’d learnt into one simple question that I could ask myself whenever I didn’t know what to do. Not one question for when I’m unsure how I should act, another one when I’m searching for the right thing to say, or if I want to decide which difficult choice I should take. I could ask one question whatever the situation. It’s a question that has led to me rediscovering how to really motivate myself, and to me connecting on a deeper level with friends, family, and people I meet; and to my growth as a person. It’s always the right question to ask myself, and I always seem to know the right answer, no matter what the situation.

So what is this magical question? Simple:

“WHAT WOULD I DO?”

"Save me Jebus!"

And the best thing about this question is that it works just as well for you as it does for me. The phrase ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ has been used by Christians for over a century, installing the figure of Christ as a moral beacon when faced with dilemmas. Whether you hold religious views or not, the same principle can be used in everyday life.

See, I have an image of myself, the way I want to be. This image is my ‘ideal self’, the very best, most motivated and inspired ‘me’ that I try to live up to. This is perfect version of myself acts as a guide, almost like Fight Club’s Tyler Durden: he’s me, only he’s me who dresses how I want to dress, and acts the way I want to act. He’s smart, capable, and free in all the ways that I am not. If you keep a strong image of who you want to be and how you want to act in your mind at all times, it can help you move towards your goals with much more ease and clarity than might otherwise be the case.

When I get stuck in an area of my life, I ask myself, “What would I do?”Sometimes I visualise it; these days I tend to know what the answer is already. Sometimes I have to search a little harder, but that just means it’s a question that’s REALLY worth asking.  I imagine what this perfect version of myself would do if he was in my exact same situation, looking and feeling exactly the way I do at that point in time. How would he react if he was where I stood now, with the same resources, same clothes, but with a new, improved attitude? You can even imagine your life as a movie, and think how you would be willing yourself to act in any given situation.

Then I go out and do whatever is I would do. It’s easy, because it’s the kind of thing I would do anyway.

Know Thyself, and the rest is easy.

"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

I keep this image of who I want to be in my mind as often as I can. It may help to right down the characteristics that are important to you in order to clarify where you want to be. Try and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying ‘the Ideal Me is more confident, harder working, better organized’, try phrasing it as, ‘I’m the kind of man who believe in himself whatever the situation, always does his best, and is always making the best use of his time’. Keep this image in mind, and feel free to update it whenever you feel it’s necessary. Remember, as you grow and evolve, your idea of what constitutes the ideal life will evolve too.

So… next time you’re stuck for ideas, ask yourself:

‘What would YOU do if you were the guy you always wanted to be?’

Try it.

Eventually, you might become that guy. You’ll be yourself, all the ways you wish you could be. Even if you never make it, you will be constantly striving towards an ever-involving vision of perfection. It’s not the flashiest solution, but it’s quick, easy, and effective. If you were the awesome guy you want to be, wouldn’t you give it a go?

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!"