Fear is your friend

Eep.

Today, I got back into light training after dislocating my shoulder a couple of months ago. I was a bit nervous: maybe even scared. I’m used to that feeling going into a tough sparring session, where everyone’s gearing up for a fight and swinging for the fences. But this was different, a simple training session with a bit of light grappling sparring at the end. Hardly the stuff to get the heart racing, but I was still scared because I’m worried about the injury, which may never fully heal.

A lot of things scare me or have scared me in the past. Before a fight, I’m scared. That one’s self explanatory: you can get hurt. You can get injured. You can lose. You could get knocked out in front of your friends. I’m afraid that injuries might stop me from doing the thing I love.

Then there are other things. I was afraid to write a blog, because some people might criticize what I had to say or make fun of me- and that’s from my mates (I was right there: cheers, you bastards!). I’m afraid that people aren’t going to laugh at my jokes: they’re going to laugh at me instead. I might be afraid to grab the girl I have a crush on who’s been flirting with me for months. I’m afraid when I have to submit some work or pitch an idea to someone, because I worry that it’s going to be rejected.

Basically, I’m afraid every time I take a risk.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea.  Anyway, what is important is that I don’t get scared if something doesn’t mean anything to me.

My friend T__  put this into perspective. Fear happens when you think there’s a risk. Fear is good. It keeps you sharp. It helps you learn. It stops you from walking down dark alleys filled with tigers wearing a Lady Gaga style meat suit. And it lets you know what’s important to you.

Fighting is exciting, partly because of the risk. Doing it in front of a crowd is even more so, partly because there is more at stake than there is in sparring, and your emotions are ten times more intense. I know I’m writing about something that’s important to me if I’m worried about how it will be received. I know I’m attracted to a girl when I start worrying about whether we’ll end up together. Get too scared, and you won’t do what you need to do. It can focus your mind, but it can also paralyze you. Acknowledge the fear, let it guide you, but don’t dwell on it, because otherwise you’re just going to get in your own way, second guessing yourself into a corner.

But doing the things that scare you gives you freedom, it gives you confidence in yourself, and it helps you grow as a person. And besides, have you ever done something you were scared of? The feeling after you’ve risen to the challenge and conquered your fear is a good one, to say the least. Sure I’m scared: but being scared doesn’t frighten me anymore. The only things I really regret in my life are the things that I was afraid to do and then avoided doing. You can’t escape being afraid, but you can change how you react to it.

Example: Jackie Chan. This is a man who willingly jumps off cliffs, onto moving trains, hovercrafts, and passing helicopters, breaking virtually every bone in his body while doing so – including his skull – and still keeps on doing it regardless. I give you Jackie Chan, daredevil extraordinaire, man without fear:

Ow!

“Every stunt, I get scared before. Every one. With jumps, I learned never to go to the top until the very last moment. You start thinking, ‘What if I land on my head? What if I break my back?’ So many thoughts. So I stay below, talking to my stunt guys, until the last moment. My heart always beating fast.”

Chicken.